diff --git a/app/sql.js b/app/sql.js
index b9ea7b239..ed9269a9a 100644
--- a/app/sql.js
+++ b/app/sql.js
@@ -59,6 +59,7 @@ module.exports = {
   removeMessage,
   getUnreadByConversation,
   getUnreadCountByConversation,
+  getIncomingMessagesCountByConversation,
   getMessageBySenderAndSentAt,
   getMessageBySenderAndServerTimestamp,
   getMessageBySenderAndTimestamp,
@@ -2312,6 +2313,27 @@ function getUnreadCountByConversation(conversationId) {
   return row['count(*)'];
 }
 
+function getIncomingMessagesCountByConversation(conversationId, type = '%') {
+  const row = globalInstance
+    .prepare(
+      `SELECT count(*) from ${MESSAGES_TABLE} 
+      WHERE conversationId = $conversationId 
+      AND type = $type;`
+    )
+    .get({
+      conversationId,
+      type,
+    });
+
+  if (!row) {
+    throw new Error(
+      `getIncomingMessagesCountByConversation: Unable to get incoming messages count of ${conversationId}`
+    );
+  }
+
+  return row['count(*)'];
+}
+
 // Note: Sorting here is necessary for getting the last message (with limit 1)
 // be sure to update the sorting order to sort messages on redux too (sortMessages)
 const orderByClause = 'ORDER BY COALESCE(serverTimestamp, sent_at, received_at) DESC';
@@ -2333,7 +2355,6 @@ function getMessagesByConversation(conversationId, { messageId = null, type = '%
           `WITH cte AS (
             SELECT id, conversationId, json, row_number() OVER (${orderByClause}) as row_number
               FROM ${MESSAGES_TABLE} WHERE conversationId = $conversationId
-              AND type LIKE $type
           ), current AS (
           SELECT row_number
             FROM cte
diff --git a/ts/data/data.ts b/ts/data/data.ts
index 1bee24d08..3476cd677 100644
--- a/ts/data/data.ts
+++ b/ts/data/data.ts
@@ -113,6 +113,7 @@ const channelsToMake = {
   _removeMessages,
   getUnreadByConversation,
   getUnreadCountByConversation,
+  getIncomingMessagesCountByConversation,
 
   removeAllMessagesInConversation,
 
@@ -761,17 +762,19 @@ export async function getUnreadCountByConversation(conversationId: string): Prom
   return channels.getUnreadCountByConversation(conversationId);
 }
 
+export async function getIncomingMessagesCountByConversation(
+  conversationId: string,
+  type: string = '%'
+): Promise<number> {
+  return channels.getIncomingMessagesCountByConversation(conversationId, type);
+}
+
 export async function getMessagesByConversation(
   conversationId: string,
-  {
-    type = '%',
-    skipTimerInit = false,
-    messageId = null,
-  }: { type?: string; skipTimerInit?: false; messageId: string | null }
+  { skipTimerInit = false, messageId = null }: { skipTimerInit?: false; messageId: string | null }
 ): Promise<MessageCollection> {
   const messages = await channels.getMessagesByConversation(conversationId, {
     messageId,
-    type,
   });
   if (skipTimerInit) {
     for (const message of messages) {
diff --git a/ts/models/conversation.ts b/ts/models/conversation.ts
index 9a09d6a42..c70337542 100644
--- a/ts/models/conversation.ts
+++ b/ts/models/conversation.ts
@@ -12,8 +12,8 @@ import { MessageModel } from './message';
 import { MessageAttributesOptionals, MessageDirection } from './messageType';
 import autoBind from 'auto-bind';
 import {
+  getIncomingMessagesCountByConversation,
   getLastMessagesByConversation,
-  getMessagesByConversation,
   getUnreadByConversation,
   getUnreadCountByConversation,
   removeMessage as dataRemoveMessage,
@@ -626,16 +626,14 @@ export class ConversationModel extends Backbone.Model<ConversationAttributes> {
       };
 
       const shouldApprove = !this.isApproved() && this.isPrivate();
-      const hasMsgsFromOther =
-        (
-          await getMessagesByConversation(this.id, {
-            messageId: null,
-            type: MessageDirection.incoming,
-          })
-        ).length > 0;
+      const incomingMessages = await getIncomingMessagesCountByConversation(
+        this.id,
+        MessageDirection.incoming
+      );
+      const hasIncomingMessages = incomingMessages > 0;
       if (shouldApprove) {
         await this.setIsApproved(true);
-        if (!this.didApproveMe() && hasMsgsFromOther) {
+        if (!this.didApproveMe() && hasIncomingMessages) {
           await this.setDidApproveMe(true);
           await this.sendMessageRequestResponse(true);
           void forceSyncConfigurationNowIfNeeded();
@@ -1163,12 +1161,6 @@ export class ConversationModel extends Backbone.Model<ConversationAttributes> {
         isApproved: value,
       });
 
-      if (!this.isApproved() && value) {
-        // if convo hasn't been approved until now, send approval msg
-        this.sendMessageRequestResponse(true);
-        void forceSyncConfigurationNowIfNeeded();
-      }
-
       if (shouldCommit) {
         await this.commit();
       }
@@ -1509,7 +1501,7 @@ export class ConversationModel extends Backbone.Model<ConversationAttributes> {
     }
   }
 
-  private async addSingleMessage(messageAttributes: MessageAttributesOptionals) {
+  public async addSingleMessage(messageAttributes: MessageAttributesOptionals) {
     const model = new MessageModel(messageAttributes);
 
     // no need to trigger a UI update now, we trigger a messagesAdded just below
diff --git a/ts/receiver/contentMessage.ts b/ts/receiver/contentMessage.ts
index 7a4b377d9..56b90cefd 100644
--- a/ts/receiver/contentMessage.ts
+++ b/ts/receiver/contentMessage.ts
@@ -19,6 +19,7 @@ import { getAllCachedECKeyPair } from './closedGroups';
 import { handleCallMessage } from './callMessage';
 import { SettingsKey } from '../data/settings-key';
 import { ConversationTypeEnum } from '../models/conversation';
+import { showMessageRequestBanner } from '../state/ducks/userConfig';
 
 export async function handleSwarmContentMessage(envelope: EnvelopePlus, messageHash: string) {
   try {
@@ -370,6 +371,19 @@ export async function innerHandleSwarmContentMessage(
       );
     }
 
+    const newConvo = await getConversationController().getOrCreateAndWait(
+      envelope.source,
+      ConversationTypeEnum.PRIVATE
+    );
+
+    if (
+      newConvo.isPrivate() &&
+      !newConvo.isApproved() &&
+      window.inboxStore?.getState().userConfig.hideMessageRequests
+    ) {
+      window.inboxStore?.dispatch(showMessageRequestBanner());
+    }
+
     if (content.dataMessage) {
       if (content.dataMessage.profileKey && content.dataMessage.profileKey.length === 0) {
         content.dataMessage.profileKey = null;
diff --git a/ts/receiver/queuedJob.ts b/ts/receiver/queuedJob.ts
index 2e86b373f..0bab841cd 100644
--- a/ts/receiver/queuedJob.ts
+++ b/ts/receiver/queuedJob.ts
@@ -256,19 +256,6 @@ async function handleRegularMessage(
     await handleSyncedReceipts(message, conversation);
   }
 
-  if (
-    conversation.isPrivate() &&
-    !conversation.isApproved() &&
-    window.inboxStore?.getState().userConfig.hideMessageRequests
-  ) {
-    window.inboxStore?.dispatch(showMessageRequestBanner());
-  }
-
-  if (!conversation.didApproveMe()) {
-    conversation.setDidApproveMe(true);
-    await forceSyncConfigurationNowIfNeeded();
-  }
-
   const conversationActiveAt = conversation.get('active_at');
   if (!conversationActiveAt || (message.get('sent_at') || 0) > conversationActiveAt) {
     conversation.set({